


I want to be beside you; wherever you are

by galacticspaceangel



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Angst, Boys In Love, Crying, First Love, Love Confessions, M/M, angsty fluff, ashton and joy are mentioned in the start, kinda? its fluffy at the end, the lyrics to beside you and wherever you are are mentioned throughout the story lmao, this has so much angst im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 15:16:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7366936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticspaceangel/pseuds/galacticspaceangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is based off of a headcanon i wrote on tumblr (glowymichael) that Calum wrote beside you while he was in brasil because michael confessed his feelings for him at the airport and calum didnt have time to respond and writing beside you was calums way of telling michael he loves him too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I want to be beside you; wherever you are

**Author's Note:**

> this is my second work and i hope you like it because i procrastinated for like a week and almost for got about it but hey ! its probably really rushed but enjoy anyway! :) (you can leave kudos if you want, you dont have to)

[The headcanon this is based off](http://glowymichael.tumblr.com/post/143297057463/malum-headcanon-calum-wrote-beside-you-about)

 

 “Now do you have everything?  Did you pack your toothbrush? Do you have your beanie? “Calum’s mother chatted, picking Calum’s bags out of the car at the airport.

“yes mum, I packed everything and I checked twice” calum sighed. His mum was protective, he knew that, but it’s too early in the morning to be chattering like this. Joy shut the boot of the car and hugged calum again.

“I’m gonna miss you so much baby, I need you to stay safe in Brazil, okay?” she mumbled into Calum’s neck.

“I’m gonna miss you mum” calum whimpered. He wasn’t gonna cry, he already came this far without it. Calum wiped his eyes and grabbed his bags. Michael got out of the car and helped calum with his bags.

“Michael, you know you didn’t have to come to the airport” Joy spoke, walking beside the two boys.

“I wanted to say goodbye, he’s my best friend and its hard” Michael croaked. He was trying not to cry, he loved calum so much and he was going to tell him before he left. The three got checked in by security and walked into the airport lounge.

 

 “Now Calum, I want you to call me as soon as you land, and I want you to stay with the group at all times.” Calum’s mum began, hugging her child.

“you’re my sweet baby boy and I couldn’t stand it if you got hurt, okay?” Calum wiped his eyes again. He was not going to cry.

“yes mum, I love you” calum sighed. “Good, now go say goodbye to Michael.” Joy pushed him off.

 

Michael was going to cry, he didn’t want calum to go, he loved him too much. “Calum, I need to tell you something” Michael whispered, leaning against Calum’s shoulder.

“Mike, I know your gonna miss me but I already said I’m gonna call you every day.” Calum whispered holding the blondes hand.

“I know that but I want to tell you now because If I don’t I will regret- “ 

 The last call for Calum’s flight came over the loud speaker. Calum hugged Michael again.

“Michael, I’m gonna miss you so much, you can tell me when I call you” Calum whispered.

“No calum, I need to tell you now- Calum, I love you, more than a friend should and I know I shouldn’t be telling you but I just can’t stop thinking about it” Michael cried, he was crying now, he didn’t want to but he didn’t want calum to go. Calum froze. Michael loved him? Calum loved him too but he didn’t have time to respond as the final call for his flight had just finished. He needed to go.

“I’ll call you when I land” calum mumbled, hugging Michael one final time and walking away. Michael fell into Joy’s arms, crying. Michael was going to miss Calum so much.

 

The plane landed in Brazil and Calum texted his mother to know he landed. He knew he should call Michael, but he needed time to think things over. after the first practice, the team arrived to the hotel. they were then sent in pairs to their rooms to unpack and get some rest. Calum’s roommate Damon, fell asleep as soon as he hit the pillow, but calum got out his notebook. Calum usually wrote things in his notebook before he went to sleep. Michael started invading his thoughts as he wrote. Michael said he loved calum. Why didn't calum say anything? he saw Michael's face after he walked away. he looked heartbroken. he broke his best-friends heart. He could feel hot tears forming in his eyes. He didn’t try to stop them. he needed to let out his emotions. Hot tears were running down his cheeks as he wrote a poem:

 

_within a minute I was all packed up_

_I've got a ticket to another world_

_I don’t wanna go_

_I don’t wanna go_

_the silent words are hard to speak_

_when your thoughts are all I see_

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you._

_another day and I'm somewhere new._

_I made a promise that I’ll come home soon._

_bring me back, bring me back to you._

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you._

Calum spent all night tossing and turning, he didn't get any sleep. he kept thinking about home, he missed being at home. Calum's mind kept thinking about Michael's face at the airport. the hurt in his eyes as calum walked away. he could feel the pain in his chest. he wanted to be there with Michael, hugging and kissing him and telling him how much he loves him and he can’t and it hurts. tears stopped running down his face hours ago, he has no energy left to cry. at around five am, Calum's eyes finally closed. Then his alarm went off.

 

A week later and calum had enough. he spent all the time he wasn't at training writing in his notebook. his performance on the field was slowly deteriorating and his coach could see it. He pulled calum over after training and talked to him about it. 

"Your performance on the field isn't as good as I know it can be, is everything alright? are you homesick?" The coach asked, sitting next to calum on the bench.

"I-I’m kind of homesick, but..." calum trailed off, wiping his eyes and sniffling, "I’m not really sure I want to do this anymore and I don’t want to upset my parents and my best f-friend told me he loved me before I left and I feel really bad because I didn't say anything and-" calum rambled and broke down crying.

"I-I kind of wanna g-go home" The coach handed calum some tissues and a cup of water. after calum had calmed down, the coach decided to call Calum's parents and let him speak to them.

"Kiddo, what’s the matter? ya homesick?" Calum's dad spoke through the other line.

 

The next night, Calum got on a plane and was sent back to Sydney. "mum, I know you're upset about this but listen, I want to do this. the only reason why I went to Brazil was to please you and dad. I used to like soccer, but after dad got me that bass, I fell in love with music. if you can please just give me a chance I can-"

"Calum Thomas Hood you have no idea what you just threw away!” Calum’s mother scolded.

“This was a once in a lifetime chance, and what do you do? Throw it all away for some high school band that will probably breakup within the next six months!” They pulled up into the driveway.

 “mum, I’m gonna be honest with you- the band was one of the reasons I came home, but the main reason was- Michael told me he loved me before I left at the airport, and I didn’t get time to respond. So please jet let me go and see him and I promise when I get back you can punish me for as long as you want” calum pleaded, placing his bags on the kitchen floor. 

“do you love him back?” Mali spoke, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl. “Because mum told me he cried the whole way home after we left, he really loves you calum” Calum’s heart shattered. He needed to fix this.

Calum stood outside Michael’s front gate. He held in his hand a CD. He recorded the CD while in Brazil and he was going to give it to Michael. Hopefully he would forgive him. He opened the gate and walked up to the front door. He gave it a light knock, clutching the CD to his chest. Michael’s mother opened the door.

“Calum? I thought you were in Brazil- you aren’t supposed to be home for another three weeks” Karen questioned.

“It’s a long story and I don’t have enough time to explain but I really need to talk to Michael, its important” calum begged, closing the door behind him. “you know where he is” Karen pointed upstairs, to Michael’s room.

Calum softly knocked on Michael’s door, remembering not to just barge in and see something he didn’t want to, which has happened multiple times. The door opened and then quickly shut again.

“you were supposed to call me when you landed” Michael growled. “why the fuck are you here?”

“I need to explain myself” Calum began.

“you could have explained yourself a week ago when you were going to call me like you said” Michael spat, Calum took a breath, trying to hold back tears.

“Michael listen; I know I- “

Michael slammed his fist against the door.

“I told you I loved you calum, you said you would call me as soon as you could and I waited. I waited and I didn’t get a single fucking phone call! You completely ignored me when I told you at the airport, I know you didn’t have time, but you didn’t even make a fucking effort to call me! I didn’t fucking know a stupid soccer career was more important than your best friends feel- “

“YOU FUCKING LISTEN TO ME CLIFFORD- “Calum burst in the door.

“I GAVE UP THAT SHITTY CAREER! THAT’S WHY IM BACK HERE! I DIDN’T CALL YOU BECAUSE I CRIED THE WHOLE FUCKING FLIGHT TO BRAZIL BECAUSE OF YOU! I SPENT THREE HOURS LAST WEEK RECORDING THIS SHITTY FUCKING CD ON A FUCKING IPOD TO GIVE TO YOU BECAUSE I KNEW YOU WOULDN’T GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN” Calum cried, throwing the CD on the bed.

“IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA LET ME EXPLAIN, AT LEAST LISTEN TO IT” Calum stormed out of the room. Michael heard the front door slam. He felt hot tears running down his face. He slid down to the floor and sobbed.

Michael woke up a few hours later. His face stung from the dried tears. He noticed the CD lying on the bed and picked it up. He’s still angry at calum, but he came all this way to give it to him only to throw it on the bed and storm off, he felt bad. He loaded up his computer and put in the CD, He opened up the disc and there was an mp3 file titled:

“Beside you (demo)”

He opened the file and Calum’s voice filled the room:

_“Michael. I know you said you loved me at the airport, and I know I didn’t respond. I feel so bad for not responding. I saw your face as they shut the gate and it broke my heart. I cried almost the whole flight. For the past week, I just couldn’t focus on the field, and I know why. You weren’t there. You’ve come to almost every one of my games for the past three years. You were- Are my motivation. You’ve always supported me through all of my games, I always heard you yelling from the stands. The reason why I came back early is because I need to tell you that - I love you. I love you Michael Gordon Clifford. I’ve loved you for a long time, and I now know you share the same feelings. I know you were going to be angry when I showed up at your house, so I wrote a song. I hope you forgive me, and I’ll see you on Monday…_

_Within a minute I was all packed up_

_I've got a ticket to another world_

_I don't wanna go_

_I don't wanna go_

_The silent words are hard to speak_

_When your thoughts are all I see_

_"Don't ever leave, " he said to me_

_When we both fall asleep underneath the same sky._

_To the beat of our hearts at the same time._

_So close but so far away._

_(Can you hear me?)_

_He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home._

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you._

_He lies awake._

_I'm trying to find the words to say._

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you._

_Another day and I'm somewhere new._

_I made a promise that I'll come home soon._

_Bring me back, bring me back to you._

_When we both wake up underneath the same sky._

_Time stops, I wish that I could rewind._

_So close but so far away._

_He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home._

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you._

_He lies awake._

_I'm trying to find the words to say._

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you_

_There are pieces of us both_

_Under every city light_

_And they're shining as we fade into the night_

_He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home._

_I wish I was; I wish I was..._

_He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home._

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you._

_He lies awake._

_I'm trying to find the words to say._

_I wish I was; I wish I was beside you._

_He lies awake._

_Beside you._

_I wish I was; I wish I was..._

_He sleeps alone._

_My heart wants to come home._

_I wish I was; I wish I was...”_

The file stopped, and Michael was crying again. He needs to find calum. He got up out of his room and ran downstairs.

“Michael! Where are you going, dinner is almost ready!” Karen yelled from the kitchen.

“Calum!” was all Michael said as he ran out the door and through the gate, heading in the direction of Calum’s house.  

Calum was walking down the street, his house in sight. He wiped his face, feeling the sting of the dry tears on his face. He started kicking a rock with his foot, letting out his anger.

“Calum!” Calum turned around, he swears he could hear Michael's voice. He saw Michael standing on the other side of the street with fresh tears on his face.

“I heard the song! I’m sorry! I love you” Michael yelled, his voice raw from crying. Calum ran across the street and tackled Michael to the ground. The boys both fell onto the soft grass, the both of them crying happy tears. The boys both sat up on the grass.

“the song is beautiful calum, you should definitely give the demo to Ashton and see what he can do with it!” Michael wiped the leftover tears from his eyes.

“I wrote the song for you though” Calum responded. “Ashton will probably think its lame or something...”

“Calum, look at me.” Michael said, grabbing Calum’s head and facing it towards his own.

“I’ve seen your writing, and I can tell you right now all of the works I’ve seen are absolutely amazing, Calum, you’re amazing and I don’t want you putting yourself down, okay?” Michael smirked, kissing Calum’s forehead.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

“not as much as I love you though”

“shut up and stop being sappy”

“I’m not being sappy it’s the truth”

“shut up”

 


End file.
